


Empty

by MeBeShe



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Cuddling, Drinking, Drunk Kisses, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, First Kiss, M/M, Nightmares
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-14
Updated: 2018-07-13
Packaged: 2019-04-22 14:15:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,061
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14310492
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MeBeShe/pseuds/MeBeShe
Summary: Mollymauk wakes with an old, familiar nightmare. Caleb is no stranger to those. They drink, they talk.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I blame Taliesin for this. His words about Molly clawing his way out of the dirt left me with this. Enjoy. If there's enough interest I may update. Idk. Inspired the Fanart of the Week winner Victorian-Hoecake as won on episode 62 of Talks Machina.

_Dirt, running down his throat. Dirt, pressing on his eyes. Dirt, iron and gritty in his mouth. Dirt, pressing on his hands, his chest, his nose, his feet, his legs, running into his mouth down his throat into his lungs choking him choking him drowning him in darkness-_

Molly gasped, a cold sweat running down his spine as he shot up in bed. He pawed as his mouth, the word “empty” heavy on his tongue as he wiped the phantom dirt from his lips. He ran his hands over his arms and chest and shoulders and thighs and shins and feet and stomach, chasing the phantom dirt away. He sat on the edge of the bed, putting his head in his shaking hands. 

He needed a drink. 

He threw his coat over his bare torso and padded down from the room he shared with Fjord into the barroom of the Leaky Tap. He needed a drink. He slid behind the bar and grabbed the strongest thing he could find. His reading was still slow and choppy, but it was better than it used to be. 

He could read. That was a start. 

He pulled the cork from the bottle and took a long pull, hissing at the burning in his chest. It was a good burn, the kind that made him feel alive and chased the cold of the grave away. He took another pull and sat down at an empty table, wrapping himself in his coat like a blanket. He stared at the burning embers, forcing his mind to go blank. 

He hated nights like this; nights of nightmares and cold wet earth and the word “empty” echoing in his soul like a temple bell. He pulled his feet up onto the chair and wrapped his arms around his knees and his tail around his shins as he listened to the sound of his breathing. 

He wouldn’t be getting any more sleep tonight. 

“Mollymauk?” A soft voice spoke behind him. He shuddered at the wizard’s voice saying his name. “Is everything alright?” 

“Everything’s fine darling.” Molly said. His voice sounded wrong to his own ears. His voice sounded empty. 

“That’s a lie.” Caleb said. He padded over to Molly and sat down. The wizard was without coat, books, sweater or scarf, clad in only his undershirt and pants. He bare feet brushed the wood of the inn. “What’s wrong?” He asked softly. His blue eyes were bright in the darkness of the barroom and Molly wanted to kiss him. He had never kissed anyone, as far as he could remember. He wondered what Caleb’s lips would feel like against his own. 

“Oh you know, nightmares.” Molly said softly. 

“Ah. I…know a thing or two about that.” Caleb said softly. He reached out and took the bottle, taking a pull. Molly’s eyes danced over the bandages on his hands and he reached out, tracing one with a fingertip. 

“I bet you do.” He spoke softly. 

“Mine are of fire.” Caleb said softly. Molly remembered (how novel was that, having something to _remember_ ) the time in the knoll mine, of Caleb staring at the man who he had murdered with fire. 

“Mine are of earth.” Molly confessed. He pulled his hand back from the bandages on Caleb’s knuckles and stole the bottle. 

“That does make sense.” Caleb admitted softly. “I know I am not the best at talking.” He said slowly. “But if you wish to talk about this, I am willing to listen.” 

Molly glanced up at Caleb. His handsome face was lined with concern and there was a pillow crease on his cheek. Molly reached out and brushed the pads of his fingers over the red mark. 

“Did I wake you?” He asked softly. 

“No.” Caleb said softly. 

“That’s a fuckin’ lie.” Molly said with a grin. “Never shit a shitter, Caleb.” 

“You didn’t. The alarm spell did. I….set it in front of your door. I was worried.” His blue flickered everywhere but at Molly’s face. They landed on the red eye of the snake on the back of his hand. 

“Why Caleb you really do care.” Molly teased. 

“Of course I care.” Caleb said softly. “I know I am shit at showing it, but I do care. I… I care for you, Mollymauk.” He admitted. “I am not good and showing it, but I do care for you.” 

“I like when you call me Mollymauk.” Molly said. “I like it when you call me by my name.”

“Well it is your name.” Caleb said softly. 

“It’s the way you say it, though.” Molly put his feet on the ground and tilted his head. Caleb’s eyes flickered to his horns and then to his lips, and Molly saw Caleb’s pink tongue flicker out to wet his lips. 

Interesting. 

“I like your voice. It’s a good voice.” Molly said. “Firm and grounding and deep. Your accent’s nice as well. It’s good to listen to.” 

Caleb blushed and he glanced away. “Thank you, I think.” He said. He glanced back up to Molly and they locked eyes. 

“I mean it. You’re welcome.” Molly said softly. “I’ll tell you what, a nightmare for a nightmare.” He rubbed his hands together and sat cross-legged on the chair in the way Beau did. He had learned to mimic people, in the circus. 

“You do not want to hear my nightmares.” Caleb said softly. There was a wild look in the back of his eyes, a haunted look, that spoke of ghosts that would not rest and wailing spirits haunted Caleb’s steps. 

“You’re wrong in that regard darling.” Molly shifted his chair, getting as close to Caleb as he could. “I want to know everything about you.” 

When he had been forced to tell the truth earlier tonight, he had told Jester that he found someone in the Might Nein attractive. He hadn’t told her who, but that someone was Caleb. 

From the moment he had spotted the dirty wizard in the inn back in Trostenwald he had wanted him. He had to ask Yasha what he had been feeling, about how he couldn’t stop thinking about the human, about how he wanted to get to know him better while also kissing him and making him laugh and spoiling Caleb by buying him magic things and books and sleeping curled into his side. 

“There is not much to know.” Caleb said with a small, sad smile. 

“You know my story. All two years of it.” Molly laughed, throwing his hands wide. He curled his tail around Caleb’s arm and ran the spade-shaped tip of it over his forearm. “Tell me something about yours. Like I said, a nightmare for a nightmare.” 

Caleb paused and ran his fingers over the ridges of Molly’s tail. Molly bit his lip to keep from making any noises. His tail was very sensitive, and Caleb’s calloused fingertips felt like heaven on it. 

“Are you sure you want to do this, Mollymauk?” Caleb asked. He took a pull from the bottle. 

“Yes, I am.” Molly said, not lying for once. 

“A nightmare for a nightmare, ja?” Caleb asked softly. He picked up Molly’s tail and ran his fingers over the edge of the tip. “I was in Spaltgrad when it burned.” He said softly. “It was a wooden city, made from the wood of the Pride’s Call mountains just across the valley. I was inside it when it went up in flames. It did not matter that the city was built on a hill.” His voice was a whisper. “Fire goes uphill. I am there, sometimes in my nightmares.” 

Caleb didn’t go into detail and Molly wouldn’t push. He shuddered softly at Caleb’s touch on his tail. He curled into a ball again, wrapping his arms around his knees. 

“It’s the dirt.” Molly said. “They don’t tell you that it gets fuckin’ everywhere. It smothers me before I can claw my way out.” Molly hands were shaking. He grabbed the bottle and took a long pull from it. “I usually wake up before I die. You know, for the second time.” 

He was getting dizzy and his mouth was starting to run. 

“I can taste it sometimes, when I wake up. The dirt from my own grave.” He laughed. His tail twitched in Caleb’s hand and the tip of it brushed along the human’s jaw. Caleb’s beard felt wonderful against the skin of his tail. “Who else can say they know what their own grave tastes like?” He laughed a bit. 

“You’re drunk.” Caleb accused. 

“And you are sober.” Molly pointed out. 

“Perhaps.” Caleb took the bottle and down half of it. 

“I have nightmares about the war.” Caleb said softly. He swallowed hard, closing his eyes. “I was a child, when they came. I was no longer a child when our king bent the knee. They had….” His voice cracked and Caleb took a shaky breath. Molly felt it against his tail. He shifted and his legs ended up bracketing one of Caleb’s, tugging him close. His tail fell to Caleb’s shoulders and he grabbed the human’s thigh. “They took everything. Everyone. They burnt the crops, sowed the fields with salt, burnt the forests. There was nothing left.” Caleb said softly. He was staring into the middle distance again, like in the mine. 

“Caleb, stay with me darling.” Molly reached out and cupped his cheek. Caleb blinked and came back to the world. He leaned against Molly’s touch and the Tiefling felt his heart ache. 

Was it supposed to be like this? Was love supposed to hurt like a knife to the heart? 

“What about you? A nightmare for nightmare, that was our deal.” Caleb said softly. His accent was thick and his voice was low and Molly just wanted to kiss him. 

“The only word I knew for a long time was ‘empty’.” Molly said. “That’s what I am. An empty doll. And I break away. I shatter into a million tiny pieces.” He looked up to Caleb, his eyes wide. “There’s nothing inside of me and I fall apart.” His voice caught in his throat and he swallowed his fear. 

“There is so much inside of you, Mollymauk.” Caleb said. He reached out and splayed his hand across Molly’s chest, touching his bare skin. “You are good and kind and loyal and you fight so well and you risk so much for us. You love us dearly and it shows.” Caleb whispered. He cupped the back of Molly’s neck with his other hand. “You are not empty. You are not alone. You are the kindest man I have ever met.” Caleb’s voice was low and urgent and so damn sincere it brought tears to Molly’s eyes. 

He curled into a ball, unable to stop the tears from falling. He felt Caleb hold him close, muttering words in Zemnian into his hair, stroking his back and his arms and his shoulders, running his hands over the blood spots and rocking him as he cried. 

Molly wrapped his arms around Caleb’s ribs and his tail around his hips and held the human close. Caleb was a solid, grounding presence in this moment. He was warm and here and touching Molly and speaking to him and running his hands along his horns and talking in that language that was low and growling in a way that was sort of but not really like Infernal. He made Molly feel safe. He made Molly feel grounded. He made Molly feed wanted. 

“Molly? You down here?” Fjord’s deep rumble echoed through the barroom. 

“Yes.” Molly said softly. 

“You alright? You ain’t drinking alone, are you? That’s a slippery slope.” Molly heard Fjord take two more steps down. 

“He is not alone.” Caleb said softly. 

“Good. Thank you Caleb. Be careful now, you hear? Don’ be goin’ out at night.” 

“Here I was thinking that Molly and I would strip naked and run about in the midnight streets of Zadash.” Caleb said, sarcasm dripping from his voice. 

“Don’ be a shit, Caleb. Don’ suit you.” Fjord grumbled. Molly tucked his face into Caleb’s neck, stifling a giggle. 

“I have him, Fjord. We will stay in the inn, ja?” Caleb said. 

“Are you drunk?” Fjord asked. 

“Little bit.” Molly laughed. He was half in Caleb’s lap and he shifted to sit in Caleb’s lap with his full weight. His tail slid around Caleb’s hips and he pressed his head to Caleb’s neck. 

“Jus’ be careful, alright? I don’ wan’ have to get Jester to heal you two.” They heard Fjord pad up the stairs and the door shut. 

“You made another joke!” Molly laughed. 

“Two in one night. I must be going mad.” Caleb laughed. His laugh was a rusty one, like a gate that hadn’t been opened in a while or a child’s toy that hadn’t been played with. 

“You have a good laugh.” Molly said. He pulled back to look Caleb in the face. His cheeks were lit with the dying embers of the fire and Molly could see the way his eyes glittered in the light and the way his lips curled up in a small smile and the way his chest peeked through the key-hole opening in his shirt. The skin there fascinated him. 

“Feeling better, Molly?” Caleb asked softly. 

“Yes. Much.” He grinned. He reached up and trailed his fingers over the skin visible through the opening. Caleb gasped softly, biting his lip. He glanced toward Molly and opened his mouth and Molly, a little bit drunk, kissed him. 

He kissed Caleb and for a brief moment the human was still. Then, slowly, as if he was re-learning how, he kissed Molly back. Slowly, gently, sweetly, like a summer rain or the first winter’s snow. He kissed Molly in such a way that the Tiefling felt his breath being taken away. He felt Caleb’s tongue on his lip and he gasped, and the human took the change to dip inside his mouth, running his tongue along his sharp, sharp teeth. Caleb sucked on his bottom lip once, before pulling away. 

“So that’s what a kiss is like.” Molly said softly. 

“You’ve….” Caleb made a strangled noise in the back of his throat and Molly watched his eyes go dark. “That was your first kiss?” 

“Well, the first I can remember anyway.” Molly said. Caleb cupped his cheek and kissed him again. 

“Go back to bed Molly.” Caleb said softly. “And I will kiss again when we’re sober, ja?” 

“Promise?” Molly asked Caleb’s mouth. 

“I promise.” Caleb said softly. He kissed Molly again and Molly whined. Caleb made that noise again, that aborted moan in the back of his throat. “Gods, the things I want to do to you.” The human gasped, pulling away. “Sober. Sober first. Then we can go slow, ja?” 

“Whatever you say darling.” Molly would have been content to let Caleb take him right now on the table where they ate breakfast every morning, but Caleb was instant on them getting back to bed. He climbed off the human and stole one last kiss before padding up to bed.


	2. Part the Second

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fuck you dice gods. Fuck you.

Molly was under him, gasping as Caleb ground down onto him. “Fuck, Caleb.” His lover gasped. He kissed Caleb, forked tongue sliding tiefling-hot into his mouth. Caleb whined and Molly flipped them, taking Caleb’s cock in hand. Caleb reached down and took his lover’s, the ridges and bumps of tiefling anatomy as familiar as his own, now. Molly gasped and worked his own cock, body shaking with the need to cum. 

“That’s it’s, darling.” Molly gasped. “Cum for me.” 

That little order was all it took and Caleb was spilling hot over Molly’s hand, jaw clenching to keep the noises at bay. Molly had no such compulsion, spilling over Caleb’s hand and stomach with a loud cry of Caleb’s name, claws on his chest poking tiny holes in Caleb’s skin. 

They came down from their high together, Molly smiling at Caleb lazily as his tail made slow circles behind them. Caleb rose to a sitting position, brushing a curl from Molly’s forehead. 

He knew this was supposed to be casual, but gods he couldn’t help but fall for Molly. Molly, who was bright and outlandish and so full of life. He had fallen in love with the way Molly’s nose wrinkled when he grinned, the way he cackled with delight at something new, the way his tail would swish like Frumpkin’s when he was excited, the way he would skip about from thing to thing like a child, the way Molly looked at the world. He had fallen in love with Mollymauk Tealeaf, and the multitudes he contained. He kissed Molly gently, and Molly kissed him back. 

Caleb kissed Molly, relishing in the heat of the tiefling’s lips. He had been so cold so often in his life, so to share his bed with a being that was made of Infernal Fire made life was delightful. 

Molly’s lips turned cold. His warm lips went cold and his body, normally so warm and plaint and eager, went cold and stiff. Caleb pulled back in shock to find those bright eyes, normally so full of life, glazed over with death. 

“Why did you let me go empty?” Molly asked him, quirking his head in a way that was most un-Molly-like. 

“Caleb, why did you let me run empty?” Blood started to pour from his mouth and stab wounds appeared on his body. 

Their room at the inn in Huperdook changed to a black void. 

“Why did you let me die?” Molly whispered, his corpse pulled from Caleb’s arms into the void. 

“MOLLY!” Caleb woke with a shout, reaching out for his lover, hand aflame. 

There was no Molly. Just like there was no Jester or Yasha or Fjord. There was Nott, sleeping in the bedroll and Beau, with puffy red eyes and shiny cheeks. He ducked his head and shook out his hand to give her time to wipe her cheeks. 

“We’re getting him back, Caleb.” She muttered. “Fucker. Stupid dumbass. Going and getting himself killed.” She glared at the new cart, where Molly’s body lay. He refused to look at it. He couldn’t bring himself to look at the body of the man he loved. 

“We’re gonna be bring him back just so I can kill him.” She grumbled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, this happened. I blame the dice gods.


End file.
